It's true. I am back in Knoxville, TN. As soon as I got home from Kentucky I began packing my bags and left for Florida on Father's Day. I went as a "get-a-way". It was nice. For the most party I just sat on the beach. I got back last night and immediately had to start getting ready for a friend of mine's b-day festivities and then had to work @ 8 am this morning. So, I've been on the go since right before my dad passed away and am really just now getting back into a routine.
I can't stop thinking about my dad, today. His cell phone was turned off on Wednesday and before that I kept calling it just to hear his voice. :( I have a voicemail on my cell phone of him wishing me a happy birthday and I have saved it over and over. I still can't believe he is gone.
I've had to deal w/ alot of emotions and situations throughout all of this. For example, my brother and I were suppose to be going to Kentucky on the 7th to spread his ashes. But his wife has made other arrangements for them to be spread this thursday and I had to argue w/ her on trying to wait or at least have the funeral home place some of the ashes in another urn for my brother and I. It may sound weird, but I need that closure. I still can't believe he's gone and I had to go through all that crap so fast and before I knew it, his funeral was over. :(
I've never had to deal w/ such a close death. I mean, my grandparents have died, but my dad? Who is suppose to walk me down the aisle, who's gonna make sure the guy i find is good enough, who's going to be there when i just want my dad?
2 comments:
I can't imagine the loss you are experiencing, but do know that I'm praying for you and am always here for you dear friend.
I know these feelings Jess - I still have them for my mom even 20 years later...
I can tell you that it does get easier to cope with in time.
Love you!
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