lace and pearls

Okay, so my dad has been in the hospital for about two weeks now. He was admitted w/ severe stomach pain. Well, as of Tuesday when I was on my way to Nashville to visit a friend, I find out things are more serious then his wife lead on.

Turns out my dad was on a feeding tube and had been put on a ventilator. They were saying he now was experiencing acute respiratory failure and they thought he had pnemonia (spelling ?). He was non-responsive and his liver and kidney functions weren't doing too well. So, to be honest, I thought I was about to lose him. Turns out, the doctors think he may have been bit by something. He had an infection all over his body that they couldn't figure out. They were able to change some medications and he did a 180. My dad is still in ICU, but he is stable and doesn't have the feeding tube or the ventilator anymore. (PRAISE GOD).

But as for my mom, I had no intentions of telling her what was going on (because she hates him w/ everything in her) but i DO plan on going to visit my dad next week and figured i should tell my mom (since i live with her). well, she didn't understand why and i explained the situation and her response was heartless. she said he deserved what was going on with him, made accusations that were NOT true about him just because of mistakes made in the past. Even if my dad would have been in the hospital for a cocaine overdose (he doesn't do cocaine), I would STILL go visit him. He is my dad and I love him. But, my mom can't see that and she just said alot of hurtful things that brought me to tears in the middle of the restaurant @ lunch. She said what goes around comes around (as far as my dad almost dying, saying he deserved it).

I just can't believe how heartless she was. I was sobbing and it didn't even phase her. We haven't talked since. the drive home was quiet then I got ready for work and and worked late tonight. I don't want to be here. I am past being ready to move out.

My emotions are on my sleeve w/ the intensity of my dad's medical situation, my mom's anger, etc. . . . I feel unstable right now.

ugh!